Taylor Swifts music video for You Need To Calm Down is um, epic, sure
Taylor Swift’s music video for “You Need to Calm Down” premiered this morning to much fanfare and… the song is worse with the music video, just my opinion. I’m probably one of the people this song is directed at and I’m fine with that, because my Tay-shade is still here and I feel like it’s utterly justifiable. Remember during the 1989 album promotion, Taylor released “Bad Blood” and it featured all of those models and actresses? It was the height of Taylor’s Performative Friendships, because she had to let us know that she is more popular than Katy Perry, and that she’s the most popular person in the world! Well, “You Need to Calm Down” is like that, only gay, queer and drag. Taylor has carefully curated the Best Gay Peeps for our entertainment. And I can’t. This is the same old Tay sh-t, just with a rainbow flag. Watch for all the cameos.
People included in this video: Ryan Reynolds, RuPaul, Todrick Hall, Adam Rippon, Laverne Cox, Jesse Tyler Ferguson, Billy Porter, Adam Lambert, the Queer Eye guys, Ellen DeGeneres and… KATY PERRY. Much like I said that Kendrick Lamar should be embarrassed to appear in “Bad Blood,” I do wonder if some of these people – COUGH RUPAUL COUGH – will be embarrassed with this sh-t too. I mean, Taylor clearly saw Ryan Reynolds murder a hobo and she’s been holding that over his head for years, that’s the only way to explain his continued involvement in the Tay narrative (I jest, Tay is friends with Blake Lively and Taylor would never tell anyone about the hobo-murder). Anyway, this is just Performative Friendships 2.0: Rainbow Coalition. And I guess I believe that Katy and Taylor really did make up now. Sigh…
I hope everyone already saw Matt Rogers clowning on Taylor’s new “I AM AN ALLY TO SELL MUSIC” shtick. If not, it’s amazing. I would lowkey jam to “Okurnt” and “I Do Poppers.”
TAYLA SWIFF #LOVER track list LEAKED:
1. Wooo, Bitch!
2. HAWNEY
3. Okurnt! feat. Cardi
4. Ble$$
5. Shantay Away!
6. YAZ! feat. JVN
7. I Do Poppers
8. GAY RIGHTS!!! feat. Ann Dowd
9. Buttigieg2020
10. FAG PALZ feat. Katy Perry
11. ME!
12. TRANS!
13. U Need To Calm Down
12. Karlie.
— Matt Rogers (@MattRogersTho) June 14, 2019
I can’t believe this but #Lover leaked. The track list I posted was accurate. Idk why this happens to sweethearts but Tayla Swiff…my heart goes out. Anyway happy #pride pic.twitter.com/jWTYdd0tSI
— Matt Rogers (@MattRogersTho) June 15, 2019
Photos courtesy of Taylor Swift.
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